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Fried Mayonnaise
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Havin’ a jones for days
A condiment malaise
You need some mayonnaise
So wrap your mouth around
Fried Mayonnaise
100% hydrogenated by science
This mayo fits exclusively in your mouth or pocket
And melts when you didn’t even know you needed it to
Not on a sandwich
Not on some bread
Today’s your lucky
Because we fried it instead
You haven't tried mayonnaise unless it's Fried Mayonnaise
From the makers of Pork Pops, Porksicles, and Pork Swirl
Yummy!
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2. |
Fake Surfaces
01:01
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Are you tired of your existing real surfaces?
Now, from the makers of Other Surfaces
Fake Surfaces
“My dirty dishes keep piling up on my counter!”
“No problem! Install our Fake Countertop and watch those dishes disappear…”
“I’m afraid of spiders!”
“Well, the problem could be with your lake. They’ll find Fake Water simply unwalkable!”
“I think I left my wallet on the moon!”
“Twisted into a zipline, most of our Fake Surfaces will get you back to the moon, as long as it’s close to the horizon.”
Got real problems? They fake!
Get Fake Surfaces
Because only everyone will know.. they fake…
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3. |
Startoob
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Get your toob waxed up and get ready for a tube slide-tastic time
Leave your frenemies and other acquaintances all stranded in your Oort cloud
You could conceivably be stretched to an infinite length, but you’ll have a good time
Now in for the galactic nuclear winter season,
Fake Surfaces’ Startoobing Slipstream!
Find free lift tickets in specially-marked pouches of Fried Brand® Fried Mayonnaise.
Yummy!
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